What are the signs of toxic behaviour and manipulation?

Hi everyone✨ Its been a while since I have posted due to personal reasons but I am back and have loads to talk about😊 I hope everybody is doing okay and is safe and well. Everything is very up and down in life lately with everything that is going on in the world, so I pray that you are all okay❤️

Today's blog post is about toxic relationships and manipulation. I will be talking about the signs of toxic behaviour and manipulation. I will also be talking about my own personal experience with toxic relationships and emotional abuse as I think it is important to spread awareness about these issues. Physical abuse is more commonly talked about but emotional abuse is so painful and a lot less talked about.

A lot of the time when it comes to people we love in our lives, we want to see the best in them. So when they are doing things that are wrong or they are mistreating us, we sometimes don't fully understand the depth of what they are doing.

When a person is behaving in a toxic way or when you have a toxic relationship with a person, you will notice that when you are around them and spend time with them you feel emotionally drained and exhausted. After being around them you will feel like you have a negative outlook on life due to their attitude and behaviour.

Signs that a person is being toxic and is manipulative whether it is a family member, friend, partner, colleague etc are as follows:

• When the person makes comments here and there to try put you down or make you feel less than: this is a way for manipulative people to feel better about themselves and their own lives

• The person plays the victim often: when people are behaving in a toxic way and are manipulative they will not believe their actions are toxic. When called out on their behaviour and what they have done wrong they will usually play the victim and twist everything in order to shift the blame on to you or others

• When the person gives you backhanded compliments: a backhanded compliment is something someone says and you don't know whether it is a compliment or an insult. For example "you actually look really nice when you make an effort" insinuating that you don't look nice on a day to day basis or "I am actually surprised you passed that test, well done" insinuating they thought you would fail. People usually do this in order to make themselves feel better

• When they try to control you by guilt tripping you: for example "but if you love me you will do it" even though they know you really do not want to do what ever it is and they are aware of that

• They will give you the 'silent treatment': this makes the person feel powerful by making you wait for them to respond. They know that they are making you uncomfortable and upset. They play head games with you and enjoy that

• When they are overly defensive about everything you say and always turn conversations about things that may be bothering you into arguments

• When they shout at you when you are having a discussion that they do not want to have in order to attempt to silence you and end the conversation

• When you tell them something is bothering you and they do not let you speak about it and tell you that "its all in your head" or something along those lines

• When you are upset due to something they have said or done and they stop responding to your texts, calls, walk away from you if you are with them in person and leave you to be upset because they never want to talk about things

• They will act out and do something wrong then somehow they will blame everything on you and make you feel like its all your fault

• You realise you are apologising to them constantly, even when it is their fault, because they never apologise and admit they are wrong

• They will play on your emotions, weaknesses and vulnerability's in order to get what they want

• They make you feel upset and anxious more than they make you feel happy and loved

• You tell them when something is upsetting you and they tell you you're "overthinking" to make you doubt your feelings

• They constantly judge you and critique you to make you feel like there is something wrong with you

•You start doubting your self worth due to how they make you feel.

If any of these signs sound familiar to you as someone is treating you this way, please reach out to someone and talk to them about it. Or if you feel like you cant speak to anyone who is close to you, seeing a therapist and speaking about this issue really helps. I personally have been seeing a therapist for a few months now and it has helped me so much.

If you have read the signs mentioned and realise that you may act this way towards someone in your life, my advice would be to please look at your actions and think about how you may be making that person feel because it is so upsetting to be treated this way.

I am speaking from experience as in my life I have had toxic relationships with family members, friends and in relationships that has really affected me. I found it extremely hard as I loved these people so much and treated them well and they treated me so poorly and had no regard for my feelings. I always saw the best in them and they took advantage of my kindness. I would give them so many chances to change and they never did. It came to a point where I had to say enough is enough and I had to choose me because the way they were making me feel was really getting me down.

A few months ago, I was severely depressed as I had endured months of emotional abuse. I felt so trapped in the situation and I felt like I was nothing and had no concept of self worth. That is how bad behaviour like this can make someone feel. Thankfully, I had people around me who loved me and cared about me who made me realise that its not my fault that someone mistreats me but its theirs and their loss. So I am here today to share my story and tell you the same thing.

I know I am worth soooo much more than being mistreated and that I deserve the best in life and so do you❤️

You are worth so much in this life. You are amazing, you are worth being listened to, you are worth being understood, you are worth being cared for, you are worth being appreciated, you are worth being respected and you are worth being loved. You matter and your feelings matter. Anyone in your life who makes you feel otherwise is not worth your time or energy and no matter how much you love them, you are better off without them. It will hurt to let go at the time but I PROMISE things will get better❤️ Its hard to see when you're going through it, it was hard for me to see too at the time, but I promise you it will be okay and you will be much happier once you distance yourself from people who make you feel bad.

I am always here for anyone who wants to speak about these issues or anything they are going through or struggling with. My social medias are attached to my blog. You are not alone and there will always be someone there to talk to you and listen❤️

Until next time❤️

Much Love,

Shannon💛